October 03, 2015

Online Dating ~ REAL QUESTIONS THAT THEY DON'T ASK

Still have hope!!!!
WARNING...THIS IS FOR LAUGHS ONLY, NO OFFENSE PLEASE

Okay, so yes it is true, I, the human and owner behind this blog have recently challenged the Online dating sites OKCupid and POF to find me potential men who are as real as the air that I breathe, someone to have fun with and who meets my ethical and high standards in my upbringing.  The truth is, there are real questions that need to be asked on these sites which I outline below.  We don't need sugar coating...I think everyone is guilty of fudging something, but in the end it's a no win situation if you don't get it right the first time.  Let's begin shall we?
I refuse to pay for "the upgrade" to read hundreds of emails because for the most part "if it's too good to be true, then it's too good to be true". I am leary about online sights due to the high volume of scammers and creeps.  Call me a sceptic, so prove me wrong.  Here is my email address to reply to in case you think you are the one for me.  Please include a photo as I am one of the 99% who are shallow enough to go by looks first.  (laugh)  In the end, though for me if you have a fabulous personality, well then that out beats looks anytime because having a great personality makes you most attractive to me.
Starting out with the first question most Online dating sites ask is:  "What are you looking for".  I am sure many of you will agree that there should be at least two if not more boxes to check , 1)  Not looking for a Nanny/Babysitter, and 2)  Looking for a Nanny/Babysitter, 3)  Looking to Stalk someone, 4)  Looking for sex.  Plain and simple.
Marital Status...Let's get real here people!  The worse one (I had to check this); Never Married!  Let's add some descriptions for that shall we because you know when someone see's that you are 50+ and never married they are gonna wonder what the heck is wrong with you and they red flag you so these might help; 1)  Worked all my life, 2)  The job never allowed me to stay in one place, 3)  Never settled for less, 4)  Ready for marriage can no longer have children, 5)  Made money no debt.  I could go on and on but you all get the gist of it right?
If you are a Female, where is that box to check on body image that say's, 1)  No more hormones, losing weight,  2)  Free at last, over Menopause, 3) Gained weight from Menopause, losing now!
In the Age question, let's be honest here...give the option (and you fill in the numbers) with a box that's say's, 52, but look 47 and act 36!

Social Setting with Alcohol   Please add the following;  1)  Attending AA, 2)  Not seeking Treatment, 3)  Can drink you under the table, brb...need to open another bottle of wine... 4) No withdrawals, 5)  A bottle of wine can last me over a week.  I would have to choose number 5 for sure.  (smile).
Social Setting with Cigar's/Tobacco  Please add the following;  Oops, wait gonna go have a puff...okay back now... 1)  I have an addiction, 2)  Smoking calms my nerves, 3)  I don't smoke in Public,  4)  I own stock in breath mints, 5)  I go out of my way to make sure you can't tell I smoke.  6)  It's a nasty habit, but I love you and accept you for you.  This is a deal breaker with 99% of you, but let's set the record straight;  no one is perfect and I am sure all of us have some dark deep secret inside of us right?!  Give us a chance.  If you worked all your life for the Feds I think you would want to take up smoking too.  (laughs cuz it's the truth)!  Oh where is my wine glass?
Last by not least by any means, ROMANCE AND SEX!  This one is the easiest of all.  A few simple questions and it sums it up; 1)  Did you watch Fifty Shades of Grey?, 2)  Did you read all three books,  3)  Did you pre-purchase your tickets for the sequel out in theaters Feb 2016?, 4)  Did you walk out of the movie?  I mean, come on, right there would tell you a lot about a person's secret desires.
Crap, I am out of wine and cigarettes so I need to go to the store.  Please feel free to comment and share.  I will post more after my hangover tomorrow.
If anything, please read the paragraph below by Ken Page and take it to heart as I have.  If I can get one person to smile because of this post then I have served my purpose in the past three hours.
"Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may sound wise, but it misses a great truth; if we want to experience true intimacy, we need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves--again and again--by the people around us.
As much as we want to control our own destiny, the humbling truth is that sometimes the only way to learn self-love is by being loved-precisely in the places where we feel most unsure and most tender. When that happens, we feel freedom and relief-and permission to love in a deeper way. No amount of positive self-talk can replicate this experience. It is a gift of intimacy, not of will-power."